When Lewis Rose To The Christmas Challenge

“Now Lewis” said Santa as they walked to the sleigh

“Are you certain your planning is ready today?”

Good question indeed for with gifts far and wide

One tiny mistake and there’s nowhere to hide.

But Lewis insisted, as they headed south-west

That five years of planning was up to the test.

The qualified elves had studied the maths,

They’d Googled the streets and the roads and the paths.

“Don’t worry, dear Lewis, it’ll all be ok”

They said and then started to shuffle away.

They first sensed the trouble with Ashbourne ahead

It wasn’t as lively as people had said

The regular cafe for sherry and pies

Was closed, leaving Lewis to look to the skies.

Why would this happen if no-one objected?

Did no-one complain to those they elected?

The car park was empty, quiet and damp

But wardens attacked Santa’s sleigh with a clamp!

Santa gave Lewis a glare of disdain

As they unloaded gifts in the cold and the rain.

The streets weren’t the same: the shops were reduced

Something had happened they quickly deduced

Where folk had a car but nowhere to park it

They had a Square car park where once was a market.

Onward they trudged to the sleeping estates

Dropping down chimneys and landing in grates.

The sacks became empty as evening progressed

And Santa and Lewis were ready to rest.

But when they looked up as the final one dropped

They saw just more houses where once they had stopped.

“Lewis” said Santa “who are the fools

Who build hundreds of houses without any schools?

and doctors, and flooding, there’s no need to rush!”

But Lewis looked downward concealing a blush.

“I’m sure there’s a plan” was all he could say

“I spoke to the experts in Lapland today”

Said Santa “These people in Ashbourne are better

Than jobsworths who only can work to the letter

If I want something doing, I’ll do it myself”

Then he turned on his heels for the good of his Elf


And here’s 2012’s effort: http://ashbournevoice.co.uk/2012/12/23/an-ashbourne-christmas-poem/

About justaukcook

/kʊk/ Not a chef, not an epicure, not a foodie. Just one who likes to prepare food – What really happens in the kitchen and on the high street is what I write about. Follow me on Twitter @Justaukcook and on https://www.facebook.com/justaukcook
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4 Responses to When Lewis Rose To The Christmas Challenge

  1. Jeffrey Phillips says:

    nicely done Paul. Jeffrey


  2. Darren Archer says:

    Brilliant and absolute spot on the reality. might be a bit cryptic for some at district unfortunately.

  3. Caroline Cooper says:

    Loved the poetry of it all
    Lewis will go off the wall.
    like Humpty Dumpty he’ll fall down with laughter
    and wonder just what our town is after.
    We want whats right to come to fruition
    infrustructure first is a good idea,
    housing they say is coming our way
    the neighbourhood plan is moving ahead
    lets hope were the first to put it to bed.

    Caroline Cooper Cllr neighbourhood planner.

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